Your bestie’s lover put a ring on it and now they’ve asked you to be their maid of honour. Of course you said a resounding ‘yes!’ but you’re left wondering precisely what a maid of honour does and how to ensure you live up to the title.
Part cheerleader, part therapist, part organiser, part aura farmer/vibe curator - there’s a lot that goes into being a top notch maid of honour and we’ve taken the guesswork out of the equation with this handy guide that will help you be the most honourable maid of honour that ever walked down an aisle!
Keep The Vibe Light
Planning a wedding is stressful and things won’t always go according to plan so there’s a high likelihood that as the maid of honour you’ll receive calls and texts requesting support when things don’t work out quite the way your bestie envisaged they would.
The best thing you can do in sticky moments is to listen and validate how they’re feeling. After hearing them out try not to get bogged down in the negativity and instead gently remind your pal what really matters: they’re about to marry the love of their life and as long as their fiancé is at the altar, everything else is a peripheral detail.
Keeping the vibe light is especially important on the morning of the wedding when your bride is likely to be feeling the most anxious. Curate a calm yet fun environment by having playlists ready to go on your phone to create an upbeat mood that will help set your bride up for a great day.
Be A Bridal Bouncer
Everyone will want a piece of the bride on the morning of the wedding. As she’s sitting in the makeup chair chances are high that her phone will be popping off with stupid questions from guests who didn’t take time to read the invite - like “where do I park for the ceremony?” (*cue eye roll*) - and this is when you need to step in to be her bridal bouncer.
If your bride feels comfortable with it, offer to carry her phone around with you on the morning of the wedding so that you can answer any last minute enquiries from guests and vendors. Better yet, tell the bride to supply your number to guests and vendors from the get-go so that she can enjoy a peaceful morning without distraction.
Be her IRL bouncer too - try to keep other bridesmaids and family members at arm’s reach from the bride while she’s getting ready so that she can be present and enjoy the moment. It’s infuriating for brides and their glam squads when they’re constantly being interrupted during ‘getting ready’ time. Your bestie will be so appreciative if you can keep non essential personnel at bay.
Pack An Emergency Kit
The Scout’s motto is “be prepared” and it should be your maid of honour motto too! Reduce anxiety for yourself and your bride by packing an emergency kit filled with items you may need if things go awry.
At Ilka we offer a pre-made Bridal Emergency Kit which contains:
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A sewing kit: just in case a button pops off or a strap comes undone.
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Baby wipes: for cleaning your hands as well as removing makeup or minor marks from your wedding dress or bridesmaid dress.
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Bobby pins and hair elastics: to tame flyaways or restore order to your updo after going wild on the d floor.
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Double sided fashion tape: sorting out gaping necklines or affixing slipping straps is a breeze with Boomba’s Magic Strips.
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Breath mints: because nobody wants to have bad breath for their first kiss as a married couple!
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Talcum powder: a must-have for slipping on tight sleeves with ease.
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Band aids: fend off blisters for those members of the bridal party who forgot to wear-in their shoes.
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Stain removal supplies: whether it’s fake tan, foundation, red wine or dirt, nobody wants dirty marks on their pristine white wedding dress! For details on what products to use for particular stains, click here and here to view our stain removal test videos.
In addition to all of the goodies listed above, we encourage you to have ample snacks on hand to keep bridal hanger at bay, as well as a battery pack to keep your phone (and the bride’s) fully charged all day.
If your bride is wearing a dress with a back full of buttons, you’ll thank yourself for packing a crochet hook to speed up the buttoning process! Click here to see how to do up a full back of buttons with ease using a crochet hook.
Learn The Basics
In the lead up to the hustle and bustle of the wedding day, brush up on essential maid of honour skills including how to steam a wedding gown, how to perfectly fluff a train and how to do up a bustle. Or, hire us to do all of it for you with our bridal styling service.
Reduce your workload and bring in a professional with over a decade’s worth of bridal experience to help you and your bestie get ready. We’ll come to you at your getting ready location and will steam your dresses and teach you how to fluff the train and do up your bride’s bustle with ease.
If an on-the-day stylist is more than you require, you could also just outsource the steaming to us by dropping your bestie’s gown off to be pressed to perfection in the lead up to their big day. This service is a god send for any maid of honours keen for one less job to contend with in the days approaching the wedding!
Now that you know everything it takes to be a great maid of honour go forth and do your thing! Your bestie is so lucky to have you by her side during this important chapter of her life.
Maid of Honour checklist:
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Emergency kit containing: sewing supplies, wet wipes, talcum powder, bandaids, mints, fashion tape, stain removal supplies, tissues, bobby pins and hair elastics
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Portable battery pack for on-the-go charging
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Snacks
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Device with playlists
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A 'can do' attitude
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Supply your phone number to vendors for wedding day enquiries
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A crochet hook if the bride has a back full of buttons